Friday 28 August 2015

Looking for ourselves in others

I tried to take a nap but I wasn't tired enough to. So perhaps I will spend the time recording this short tale.

One chilly morning, while I was walking to work, I couldn't help but overhear a conversation between two elderly men. 

It was unclear to me the nature and extent of their relationship - if I had to guess, perhaps they were close friends, or they could have been old ex-colleagues simply finding the time to catch up. 

Judging from their energetic tone and lively mannerisms (despite the cold!), I somehow got the impression that these two fellows had been at it for some time and I just happened to stumble into their conversation. 

(All speculation - I don't know of course)

However what was immediately clear to me was that the conversation had taken a philosophical turn:

A: "You know what Bob, in all my years of being a boss, I've come to discover one really important thing about hiring employees!!"

B: "Yeah? And what's that?"

A: "Well, after many years of going through the recruitment process, I find that you tend to pick people who you reckon are a lot like yourself. That is, you can ACTUALLY see yourself in them."

(B pauses and gasps, as if he's stunned or caught off guard)

B: "You know what! 

....when you put it that way, I think you're right."

Unfortunately I had already reached my office so I had to tune out.

Now, if what A said is true, then this makes me wonder: can this concept be applied to other areas of life?

For example, when we decide whether or not to be someone's friend, do we subconsciously look for someone like us or do we look for something different? But wait, I thought opposites attract? Or does this latter rule only apply in respect of some characteristics, and we look for similarities in others?

And how about couples and marriage? 

Does our spouse need to be like us or different to us? Or both? Or is it just completely random? :)

All very interesting questions that I do not know the answer to.


Andre Lim

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